Thursday 10 January 2013

Dex - The many handed

Losing a hand would normally be a career ending event for some one of Dex's chosen profession.
He suffered the injury whilst on a job, but still managed to complete his mission and claim the handsome purse. Rather than endure premature retirement Dex spent his horde of ill gotten gains on an experimental set of prosthetic hands (of gnomish construction). In fact he spent, every GP he owned.

Although injury and death is to be expected in such a treacherous occupation, the most recent Thieves Guild Fatality Report is still rather miserable reading for its members. It states that thieves have a higher mortality rate than any other dungeon delver, and that those deaths are characteristically unpleasant.
Death from occupational hazards cited in the research*:
  • 01%  Slain by an enemy
  • 19%  Poisoned
  • 04%  Drowned / Suffocated
  • 08%  Eaten quickly
  • 12%  Eaten slowly (Gulp grubs, toothless zombies, etc...)
  • 16%  Crushed / Splattered (Falling from a great height)
  • 12%  Beheaded / Dismembered / Sliced, Diced or Impaled
  • 18%  Entombed / Trapped / Starved
  • 09%  Electrocuted / Burned (Natural & magical fire)
  • 01%  Other (Including one reported incident of a thief giving an inappropriate hand gesture to a disgruntled troll without prior identification of a suitable escape route)
* Report: Life in the Shadows: Deathtraps, Safety & You (Order of the Impossible Lock)

In a difficult post-apocalyptic economy, work for the professional thief is on the decline. With a less than stable income Dex has failed to keep up service payments on his hand and, as a result, the device has fallen into disrepair (and now prone to the occasional malfunction!)

Dex is available for hire for a variety of missions:

1) Retrieve sacred/precious/useful artifact, no questions asked.
2) Test your dungeon/castle security measures with an unexpected visit.
3) Spy on an adulterous spouse (note: additional charge for any subsequent assassination requests).
4) Misplaced that treasure chest key? 24 hour call-out locksmith service available at reasonable rate.

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